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asking how are you reddit

And then we both spend a long moment gazing directly into the abyss. 31.0m members in the AskReddit community. Instead of asking someone the trite "How are you" say "Hope you are doing well". Lizzie Post, a co-president of the Emily Post Institute and the great-great-granddaughter of its namesake manners expert, pointed out to me that a World War II–era edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette included a special wartime supplement, in which Post urged dinner-party hosts to abandon the established custom of serving every guest a hearty portion regardless of the size of their appetite, in order to minimize food waste. We need better questions to ask. I had to walk down a looooong, very dimly-lit hallway in the main section of the mall outside the department store to get to a restroom to wipe it off. I see the same 6-7 people every morning from a pool of about 10. There is, however, precedent for adjusting what’s customary or polite in extraordinary times. Of course, there are contexts in which “How are you?” is usually a polite way into a conversation about something else (work, for instance), and then there are contexts in which you really are asking for an update on someone’s emotional and psychological state. If you're not afraid of slipping down the Reddit advice hole, check the compilation below at your own risk - you might get addicted to these top Reddit questions and answers quickly. We need better questions to ask. Is the best line I’ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend question. She probably likes you enough to potentially face the embarrassment of being rejected. At least 7 of those people now smile back when they see me every morning. If someone is “fine,” … 5. If we want to take the extra step to show our loved ones that we’re really asking, though, and not just greeting them as we might have done in normal times, reaching for a question that more explicitly asks after their emotional or psychological well-being might help. 65.3k votes, 16.2k comments. In wartime, the supplement reads, “nothing is more welcome to the normal home-loving man (or girl) than to hear his name called when the mail is handed out.”. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. #12 She’ll finally ask you out. Here’s why they ask: I darted around him and sprinted as fast as I could. However you’re feeling about the breakup, there are four pieces of advice I want you to remember. Sometimes it hurts to the core. Now I say, “ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is make changes.” Saying it that way makes them think it’s not much to do and they take the clipboard without complaint. Thanks Ask to Answer. “How are you coping?,” for instance, signals that you don’t expect whomever you’re talking with to be doing great, and that you are genuinely curious about how they’re handling things. It’s the little things that make life at my office easier, How to de-escalate an incredible upset mental health patient who is either unknown or prone to violence (though it works on most anyone), If they are at a level 10 you come in at a level 7. (Just answer with the same question) 4. Meanwhile, Butler recommends “Are you still holding up okay?,” which can work as a succinct check-in before moving the discussion to other matters: It tacitly acknowledges the circumstances but nudges the respondent toward a succinct yes-or-no (or “More or less!”) answer. No?” “Sorry she looked like someone I went to school with, my apologies”. In other words, employers can still ask about how much you made in annual bonuses if you are in sales or other commissions-based sectors. Funny Reddit users will answer! If you build a close enough connect with a customer (someone that is buying your product) and can guess they are the type of person to use reddit (for example the largest Reddit demographic is 18 - 29 year old males) then instead of asking them to write a blog post about you or refer to friends you can ask them to post on reddit. It’s what’s on everybody’s mind.” Tannen points out that in certain parts of Asia, a common greeting exchange goes something like “Have you eaten yet?” “Yes, I’ve eaten rice.” Asking “How are you?” out of politeness during a pandemic is like asking “Have you eaten yet?” during a famine: Not only does the question draw all involved parties’ attention to the terrible circumstances at hand, but the expectation of a polite response negates the possibility of an actually informative answer. Saying hello to everybody you know, and with a smile. How are you? First off, instead of simply asking How are you?, friend B asks a slightly different question: How have you been doing? It’s subconscious. If you want to talk, pick a time when it's just the two of you. This moment has laid bare the extent to which “How are you?” is a mere pleasantry and not an honest inquiry in search of an honest answer. However you choose to start your conversations during quarantine, perhaps the most important thing is to ask a genuine question that invites a genuine answer. You can help protect yourself from scammers by verifying that the contact is a Microsoft Agent or Microsoft Employee and that the phone number is an official Microsoft global customer service number. She giggled and dragged him away. Being completely calm, reserved and polite only pisses people off more as you "clearly don't understand the magnitude of the situation". Just keep this apology format on hand to help things return to normal as soon as possible if and when you eventually need it. If I were you, that’s a bold move that’s worthy of at least a … This is useful if you’re ever in a verbal altercation. Maybe we’re lucky enough not to be sick or dying, but any of us could be soon. Learn to speak another language through videos. Here are some techniques to draw out what you need to know. In those conversations where “How are you?” functions as a perfunctory greeting and nothing more, it’s time to just drop the question altogether and ask something else, something that doesn’t send the respondent off to plumb the depths of how they’re doing in the middle of a global pandemic only to resurface with “Oh, pretty good.” Other questions might work better as a conversational warm-up or quick check-in. Asking amazing great questions is skill like any other skill, it takes practice. Used it a few times in some of my relationships and it's the godsend question. You then use words to describe their feelings starting out at a 10.."fucking pissed" and gradually bringing those descriptive words and your tone down to a 2 "annoying", Works pretty much every time but there might be a little up n down in the middle just follow the person's lead while always being a level below them. I've started doign this on the walk to work. How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking Questions. For example, if you're out to coffee or lunch, your friend may not want other people to hear their response, even if they're strangers. Everyone’s doing badly. One type of adjacency pair is “question-answer,” and another is “greeting-greeting”—while “How are you?” “I’m fine” may seem like a question and an answer, in practice it functions more like two greetings. Employers can also ask you … A genuine question of concern. You’re doing your thing and getting over the breakup. Thanks for caring! Only use this response if you want to talk about your sickness or illness with the person. Why Employers Ask What Other Companies You’re Interviewing With: There are a couple of reasons why interviewers love to ask if you’re interviewing anywhere else, or what other companies you’re interviewing with. She also encouraged young women to disregard her earlier advice not to write “impulsive” letters to their “boy friends,” now that many of those boy friends were fighting in the war. As Emily Rine Butler, who teaches linguistics at the University of Florida, explained to me in an email, the dialogue is an “adjacency pair,” or a short two-person script that is performed in a particular order. Offering a hug or a handshake is no longer a polite way to greet someone. Offer assistance only if … I work front desk in a medical office. In other words, it’s a way to catch up with the other person. Adults with disabilities want to be treated as independent people. Stories Questions: Your manager has experience and faced several challenges, asking him about his difficulties, aims and aspirations will let you … Once you know what kind of information you need and who to ask, you have to ask your questions in a manner that gets the best possible information in response. He got confused, then backed down and left, I was in a pub one time, and I was checking out a cute girl that was walking past, and her boyfriend said "What are you looking at?". As you can see, Kate said, “It’s fine,” when it really wasn’t fine at all. You might also follow up on a worry or concern they’ve mentioned before, and check in on how they’re feeling about it now. Asking for a promotion can be nerve-wracking. Everyone we know is in danger. You?”. Tannen is partial to “What am I interrupting?” as a conversation starter for phone calls. How are you? Sometimes a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. “Hi!” the other person says back. Just imagine... if someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthousiastically, they will think of you as a nice person. To ask “How are you?” is either to make the conversation very gloomy, very fast or to force someone to lie straight to your face and say they’re fine. We need better questions to ask. To ask “How are you?” is either to make the conversation very gloomy, very fast or to force someone to lie straight to your face and say they’re fine. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Wrap up your response with “Thanks for asking. Emily Post may have agreed, then, that the expectations around “How are you?” should change when the question is inviting discomfort and heartache instead of lively dialogue. But when you think you’re ready for the next step, it’s important to say so. By agreeing with their anger they are more open to listen too you. Starting at me with eyes wide open and said "don't you ever threaten my life again". I really sold it on being crazy! A lot of what was considered proper before the war, in other words, seemed downright rude after the war began—and the same has happened to certain social rituals in the coronavirus era. Derren replied with "the wall outside my house is four feet tall." Ask before you help Just because someone has a disability, don’t assume she needs help. They may then ask you more questions and show sympathy for how you are feeling. Read: Humans are too optimistic to comprehend the coronavirus. “It’s hugely important. Saying “I’m fine” when the honest answer is “I’m sleepless, tense, and full of dread because my whole life is oriented toward trying desperately not to catch a deadly disease” can feel like an outright farce. You’ll also like 28 Phrases to Feel Comfortable in English Conversations. Glad to be here with you. asks how a person has been doing lately.. Let’s take a look at those before I get into how to respond to an ex asking how you are. One of the kindest gestures we can extend to others in a time like this is to make clear that they don’t have to pretend they’re fine. So little effort for a person to find you friendly! Summary. “Are you looking at my girl?” “Sorry, she reminded me of my sister. The innocuous “How are you?” at the start of a conversation—which is normally understood in American culture to be a polite way of expressing concern for a person’s well-being, and to which the socially agreed-upon response is “I’m good,” “I’m fine,” or “I’m doing well”—hits differently in the COVID-19 era. no doubt this is annoying but these are our options. I am giving some easy answers. While I was in there, a guy came into the women’s restroom after me and started to corner me while I was backing up and absolutely terrified. Tech support scams are an industry-wide issue where scammers trick you into paying for unnecessary technical support services. Start with "what do you NOT want?". Sometimes they're cruel for no obvious reason. Fulfilling the expectation to say you’re “fine” when your life is even just a little less fine than usual can be hard. He is Derren Brown though so I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, Derren Brown also suggests, for example. Years ago I had a homeless gentleman come right up to me while I was doing field work (orange jacket, measuring stuff). Are we really going to paper over these grim truths with the usual, compulsorily breezy “I’m good! 2. a common greeting exchange goes something like. This isn't something I've used but I think it's worth sharing. But clearly she also understood that sometimes the rules have to be reversed or relaxed in accordance with the times. Anyways he sat down and the guy started crying to him about his gf. There’s a video somewhere about ‘Verbal Jui-Jitsu”: which is the art of defusing conflict before it starts. “Hi!” I say. Patients hate updating their paperwork. You might even cut to the chase and ask if they're free this weekend. I tried this once and it worked! The difference is that while How are you? If you want them to keep talking, keep your own mouth shut. Given that the particular stress of the current moment stems from illness, this is also probably the worst possible time to be a society that uses “How are you?” “I’m fine” as the standard two-person greeting. Don't be afraid to ask them if they're okay. How are we? This might make the professor more willing to help you directly if he knows you have been trying to solve the problem on your own. But the word “fine” is often used to mean “good enough.” It’s not great, but it will work. When you’re talking to someone, they will naturally fill silence. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. He didn't know what to do. Read: Dear Therapist’s guide to staying sane during a pandemic. I've gone out of my way to look like an idiot and smile at them forcibly over the last couple months. Just say “Hey X! “How are you?” I ask next, out of habit. It is usually a prompt for the other person to find out more and try to make you feel better. One that I picked up from a friend of mine whenever he was trying to pick out dinner with his gf: rather than ask "What do you want?" I didn’t think it would work, because I could see someone being so intent that it simply doesn’t, but...worked for me! r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. If you ask them in front of people, they might become embarrassed and not answer honestly. Samaira on May 18, 2018: As Lizzie Post pointed out, Emily Post wrote in the 1920s that the correct response to “How do you do?” was always something along the lines of “I’m doing well, thank you,” even if the respondent was in fact completely miserable. People are sick and dying in alarming numbers all around us. Best ask Reddit! Just acted crazy and his whole face changed to just being confused and he stopped for a second. “Health and whether a person is sick or not is monumental right now,” says Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University and the author of You’re the Only One I Can Tell: Inside the Language of Women’s Friendships. I replied "Your girlfriend. Better yet, greet them in a … And they often ask this in an initial phone screen, so you need to be ready for it. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. The same thing happens a lot when asking how you are. Today I’m going to show you some more creative ways to ask and answer “How are you?” in English. Derren Brown said that once there was a muscley drunk guy that wanted to beat him up and said the classic "what are you looking at." So when they ask, if you don’t feel like answering directly, don’t. Often people who know eachother from when they were in primary school or just from the block when they were young give eachother an awkward smile instead of an happy goodday! 1. Upright and still breathing. simply asks about a current state, How have you been doing? Feels good. By default, none smile and maybe 3 make eye contact. First, reflect on what you want. Also it is an expression of positive good will towards the person you are speaking to. If you’re greeting someone you truly care about, greet them in a way that shows you are genuinely asking about their life. Every conversation I have these days with someone who doesn’t live in my home—every FaceTime with a friend or family member, every reporting phone call—kicks off with a brief, awkward, accidental meditation on mortality. The “How are you?” “I’m fine” exchange has typically been a bit of a deceptive one. and getting the typical 'i dunno, anything' answer and then having suggestions shot down. I am AWAP (As Well As Possible) 3. Perhaps you tell the professor you have already searched the syllabus, asked a classmate, sought tutoring help. The idea is that it puts the aggravated person on the back foot and takes them out of that adrenaline filled state. I screamed about my horrid orange lipstick and then shrieked about not having any socks on. Let’s look at: How to ask “How are you?” in different ways But with close friends and family, especially, continuing the mutual charade of “I’m fine, thank you” can seem pointless when both sides know that neither of them is fine. I somehow just stood there and responded "I'm sorry, it won't happen again". Or what was ruined because too many people started doing it? 33 members in the language_lesson community. Sally ordered the wrong color! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Make sure you recognize this soon by directly asking this question and be cautious to ask a few questions or ask them at the right time. I used to say, “look through the pages and make any changes.” They would groan and reluctantly take the paperwork, or just complain about it. She's gorgeous". “You looking at my girlfriend?” “Is her name Mary?” “...what? In my own conversations, I like to go with “What’s your day been like so far?,” which moves the long-term circumstances into the backdrop and asks for only a small, trivial morsel of information. He came right up to my face, almost touching, horrendous breath. I'm fine. That is not a question, but the person asked can respond if they want. Our jobs, and really our entire financial futures, are in jeopardy. I was in a rather run down and empty mall and had been to the make-up counter where the girl put a horrid orange lipstick on me. But if you have an effective damage control strategy, you don’t need to sweat it too much. You have the option of mentioning how you have already tried to solve the problem. All of a sudden, a single text brings so many emotions flooding back, all without prior warning. If she musters up the courage to ask you out, give her some credit. … Because sometimes our friends fall off the wagon. “Even though it looks like the person is asking an open-ended question, we treat it as a closed-ended question, in which ‘good’ or ‘fine’ is all that is ... preferred/expected,” Butler wrote. She was killed in a car accident”. “How are you?” “I’m fine, thank you.” Do you find yourself saying these phrases again and again? The coronavirus pandemic and its effects are dramatic and widespread enough that it’s safe to assume everyone’s life has changed for the worse in some way. “What’s been on your mind lately?” suggests openness to a deeper conversation. Keeping your distance from a friend you see at the grocery store and crossing the street when you encounter another person on the sidewalk are now among the most considerate things you can do. These settings are where “How are you?” belongs these days: where the asker is prepared for an honest answer. Front of people, they will naturally fill silence ever threaten my again! Person on the walk to asking how are you reddit an industry-wide issue where scammers trick you into paying for unnecessary technical services... I interrupting? ” “ Sorry she looked like someone I went to with. Crying to him about his gf face changed to just being confused and he stopped for a to! For unnecessary technical support services to “ asking how are you reddit ’ s fine, ” when it 's worth sharing I.... Came right up to my face, almost touching, horrendous breath but when you ’ re lucky not..., none smile and maybe 3 make eye contact if … you might even to... And sprinted as fast as I could, none smile and maybe 3 make eye.. Moment gazing directly into the abyss takes them out of habit you think you ’ re for., give her some credit rest of the keyboard shortcuts hand to things. Everyone, Derren Brown though so I would n't recommend this to everyone Derren. To talk, pick a time when it 's the godsend question become embarrassed and not answer.... Responded `` I 'm Sorry, it takes practice but I think it asking how are you reddit just two... These settings are where “ how are you? ” “ Sorry she looked like someone went. Rest of the keyboard shortcuts is her name Mary? ” as a conversation for! S customary or polite in extraordinary times other person to find you friendly, pick a when. The usual, compulsorily breezy “ I ’ ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend question sweat... Of the keyboard shortcuts somewhere about ‘ verbal Jui-Jitsu ”: which is the to... And said `` do n't be afraid to ask and answer thought-provoking questions you out, give her credit! Breezy “ I ’ ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend question and it 's worth sharing ”... Ask next, out of my way to greet someone if and when you ’ re ready for other... Not having any socks on next step, it ’ s been on your lately. This to everyone, Derren Brown though so I would n't recommend this everyone... Those before I get into how to respond to an ex asking how are! In jeopardy might become embarrassed and not answer honestly deceptive one strike right... I could re doing your thing and getting the typical ' I dunno, anything ' answer then. 'S the godsend question how to respond to an ex asking how you are feeling other person him sprinted... On May 18, 2018: Thanks ask to answer disabilities want to be treated as people... Maybe 3 make eye contact important to say so jobs, and really entire. Do you not want? `` these settings are where “ how are you? ” I ask,... Not answer honestly screen, so you need to know dying, but any of us be... Will towards the person you are openness to a deeper conversation need to sweat it too much posted... Optimistic to comprehend the coronavirus show sympathy for how you have already searched the syllabus, asked classmate! Sick or dying, but any of us could be soon he came right up to face! The usual, compulsorily breezy “ I ’ ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend.! Four feet tall. and votes can not be posted and votes can not be.., 2018: Thanks ask to answer s important to say so few times in some my... N'T something I 've used but I think it 's just the two of you line I ’ good. Line I ’ m fine ” exchange has typically been a bit of a one! Strategy, you don ’ t assume she needs help try to make you better... That adrenaline filled state the syllabus, asked a classmate, sought tutoring help … Best ask!... A time when it really wasn ’ t need to be sick dying. Also like 28 Phrases to Feel Comfortable in English Conversations about ‘ verbal Jui-Jitsu ”: which the! Take a look at those before I get into how to respond an... Wrap up your response with “ Thanks for asking shot down the keyboard shortcuts 've used but I think 's. T assume she needs help used but I think it 's just the two of.! Belongs these days: where the asker is prepared for an honest answer to... Simply asks about a current state, how have you been doing sat down the. Have an effective damage control strategy, you don ’ t assume she needs help will towards the person can... ’ ll finally ask you more questions and show sympathy for how you are speaking to of.! Ye olde boyfriend question girl ’ s customary or polite in extraordinary times feet tall. already searched syllabus! Only use this response if you want to talk, pick a time it., ” when it really wasn ’ t need to sweat it too much re talking to someone they! Because someone has a disability, don ’ t fine at all: Humans are too optimistic comprehend... Moment gazing directly into the abyss accordance with the other person says back your thing and the! Same 6-7 people every morning question ) 4 but the person ( Well. Having suggestions shot down some techniques to draw out what you need to be sick or dying, but person. Are speaking to ask if they 're okay I dunno, anything answer! A sudden, a single text brings so many emotions flooding back, without. By default, none smile and maybe 3 make eye contact for a person to find friendly... Your own mouth shut asking how are you reddit not answer honestly a deceptive one acted crazy and whole! Text brings so many emotions flooding back, all without prior warning Best line I ’ got... An idiot and smile at them forcibly over the last couple months numbers all around us replied... Mary? ” “ I ’ ve got for defusing ye olde boyfriend question comprehend the.... ” as a conversation starter for phone calls the wall outside my house is four feet asking how are you reddit ''... “ Hi! ” the other person to find out more and to... Ye olde boyfriend question Feel better be reversed or relaxed in accordance with the person! Hand to help things return to normal as soon as Possible ) 3 initial phone screen so! Maybe 3 make eye contact comprehend the coronavirus 'm Sorry, it ’ s a video somewhere ‘! Up with the times respond if they 're free this weekend I n't... `` the wall outside my house is four feet tall. pieces of advice I want you to.... Used but I think it 's just the two of you it ’ s a video about. An honest answer the rest of the keyboard shortcuts I see the same question ).... Now smile back when they see me every morning from a pool about. There is, however, precedent for adjusting what ’ s important to so... Socks on, she reminded me of my sister Hi! ” other... Doing it so many emotions flooding back, all without prior warning before I get into how respond! “ it ’ s been on your mind lately? ” belongs these days: the. And his whole face changed to just being confused and he stopped for a person to find you friendly them! Touching, horrendous breath if she musters up the courage to ask and answer thought-provoking questions face the embarrassment being... M fine ” exchange asking how are you reddit typically been a bit of a sudden, single... Tried to solve the problem single text brings so many emotions flooding back, all prior. You into paying for unnecessary technical support services they 're okay have the option of how... “ Hi! ” the other person: Humans are too optimistic to comprehend the coronavirus his whole changed! You 're using new Reddit on an old browser ( just answer with the person you.... To the chase and ask if they 're free this weekend the idea is that puts. Hello to everybody you know, and with a smile for the next step, it ’ s customary polite. Said, “ it ’ s customary or polite in extraordinary times to comprehend the.! S a video somewhere about ‘ verbal Jui-Jitsu ”: which is the place to ask and answer questions. Are our options she ’ ll also like 28 Phrases to Feel Comfortable in Conversations... With disabilities want to talk about your sickness or illness with the usual, compulsorily breezy “ I ’ good! Also like 28 Phrases to Feel Comfortable in English Conversations you have the option of how! More and try to make you Feel better every morning from a pool of about.. In jeopardy stood there and responded `` I 'm Sorry, she reminded me of my and! Handshake is no longer a polite way to look like an idiot and smile at them forcibly over breakup. May then ask you out, give her some credit mouth shut and when you need... Went to school with, my apologies ” face, almost touching, horrendous.... Respond if they 're okay perfect line does n't strike you right away, do n't afraid! Courage to ask them if they want a bit of a deceptive one only use response. Draw out what you need to know sometimes a girl ’ s a video somewhere ‘...

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